if my aura is dark then wy the fuck am i holding a fucking lolipop?

well growing up isnt fun when i was a child i didnt have many friends i fought with alot of kids just because i was mad and bored but the one thing i did have was video games and my imagination but i feel so shitty now that im in highschool i havent touched any drugs at all (i got drunk with my friends a couple times though but this was during my depression) yet i always feel tired and depressed and nothing EVER makes me happy nothing! not even video games anymore im so highstrung all the time and i dont know how to fix it (and no i havent and im not considering doing drugs dont get that idea) it's like my mind is slowly poisoning me my dreams never make sense and are usually linked to video games or fights ive been in as a child i cant commit suicide cause i dont have a gun and it'd destroy my parents and if im gonna die it'd be by a bullet on the battlefield not by a shitty little razor blade in self pity and i dont feel much like getting a job because theres nothing i really feel like buying that requires me to get up at 8:00 in the morning every day for the rest of the summer which the only fucking thing i wanted to do during it was just relax for once. In the end im just gonna try to stop caring about anything and become cold and lazy cause if i cant have peace even in the fucking summer im just gonna give up im planning on joining the army when i hit 18 so ill be dead and not have to deal with anyone anymore the only peace i think ill ever find is death that way i wont take up food and shelter which alot of kids who can live life need a fuck load more than me and dont send me a fucking message telling me not to feel sorry for myself it just fucking annoys me and i cant ive tryed everything IM DONE all of you fucking idiots annoy me so fucking much oh yeah sending me a message calling me an emo would be right i technicly am so send em im not even checking my inbox anyway it'd be like twitter kinda. messages that nobody feels like fucking reading because they were wrote by some retarded person who only listens to a faggot with blonde hair and blue eyes and thinks so highly of himself he finds any other kind of lifestyle disgusting and ugly and the human race is so incredibly stupid in a way because were so damn loving and we breed like fucking rats have a family of four or five or 8 and the scientists keep trying to come up with new ways of conserving energy and cutting down on pollution yet pretty much everybodys gonna be doing the same lazy bullshit until the day they die cause the world isnt easy and everyones confused on how to stop global warming when the problems been staring them right in their fat little pig faces DEATH why keep a strain of retarded lazy fat weak children going? we gotta start killing ourselves im not talking about going into people houses and knifing the children and raping the wives to death im talking about population control like putting birth control in the water supply sex is not a beutiful thing it never was it's just an act mixing bodily fluids to creat a new cell which will grow into another member of the race i havent noticed it for a while but humans really are an ugly thing were wasteful lazy greedy lustful unloyal and overall disgusting animals are pure basic and smart so in favor of george bush hell give us more wars stop letting retarded little teenagers fuck like rats because they think their in love the world is ugly and depressing and confusing thats one of the reasons i wish there were just animals around like dogs and such and as far as i see it humanitys gonna go 2 ways one way is were gonna not gonna learn from our mistakes progress a little further in technology and then deplete our resources because of our overpopulation and wasteful lifestyle and die a slow horrible death of disease and hunger but maybe some might convert to cannibilsm ensuring that a small amount of cannibals survive bury the dead so IT turns into soil and keep a small bit of modern society technology and humanity starts over except our skin will be extremely dark because of the highly increased temeperature . OR we have more wars and put out birth laws allowing only 1 child so the population is cut in half and then because the world will be a lot less crowded after a century (hoping global warming hasnt killed us off by then) we will have time to learn from our mistakes and keeping the population roughly in that radius we progress in technology to lvls of a better food conserving rate and we stay in that stage until something else BIG happen. well thats it it's 5:50 am and the suns coming up and the skys turning a nice shade of teal thats truly worth appreciating (i know just like the line from Facebook Twitter) i hope you enjoyed my post or whatever the fuckin things called have a happy life and pray to god global warming doesnt burn the skin off your face. watch out for the claymore